Last week on MLW Fusion: Marko Stunt lost to Myron Reed in a fun match. Too bad Marko broke his leg last night, wished to see more of him on Fusion. MJF kept his Middleweight championship because Jimmy Yuta and Jason Cade hate each other. Low Ki ripped of Daga’s ear to win a match.
We see Daga getting his ear ripped off again. They never zoomed in on it though, I’m thinking it was a blood packet? Definitely got people talking. Konnan meets Low Ki and Salina and Ricky while walking into the arena. I honestly can’t take Low Ki’s character seriously and have openly laughed twice during the segment. Basically its Low Ki vs. Konnan at the next MLW show in Miami.
Tom Lawlor cuts a promo about his street fight with Sami Callihan.
Ricky Martinez w/ Salina De La Renta vs. Doctor Rex Bacchus
- Doctor Rex Bacchus is an enhancement talent but MLW does good on him by giving the Doctor his own chyron.
- Ricky Martinez does the old Charlotte Flair hump the back of the head move.
- Martinez is wearing a nose protector mask and Rex decides to only strike Ricky in the face.
- This match is a showcase for Martinez whose offense draws applause from the crowd.
- Ricky wins with a Dominator sitout piledriver which legitimately made me recoil in terror.
And I’m Like… That match was quick. Ricky did a lot of stuff and really showed out. That finisher tho….. scared the bejeeeezus out of me.
Simon Gotch and Tom Lawlor talk before the street fight and Gotch says he has Lawlor’s back and even set Tom up with a press conference. Tom told Simon that Gotch wasn’t there for Lawlor the last time Tom was in trouble and needs Gotch there tonight.
Size Matters (Swoggle and Joey Ryan) vs. The Dirty Blondes
- Col. Robert Parker is not with The Dirty Blondes tonight. Rich says Parker is at home watching the show because he has to run his jump rope academy.
- Joey Ryan tore his pec the night before this match. So Ryan has his arm in a sling but he is still here. Honestly, dumb move if you’re trying to win a match. Amazing move to show your dedication to perform for the crowd.
- “Happy Birthday” chant from the crowd for Ryan. Joey asks who wants the blow pop and puts the used sucker in some dudes mouth. To the dismay and joy of the crowd.
- Swoggle has a huge lollipop that he shoves in a dudes mouth rather aggressively.
- It still really bothers me that The Dirty Blondes don’t have belly buttons.
- Joey and Swoggle get jumped from the gun and Brien kicks Joey right in the torn peck.
- Rich says that Joey got injured doing a stripper routine during the match the night before. Really got to say Tony sounds like he enjoys the shows more when Rich is there and Striker is gone. I enjoy it a hell of a lot more.
- Joey gets a hot tag with one arm but is still able to land a lot of strikes. Really impressed with Joey’s dedication and Swoggle’s ability to carry the match.
- Swoggle is even busting out the Tad Pole Splash and some Belgian Suplexes. Size Matters got the win.
And I’m Like… That was as good as it could have been with one of the performers being severely injured. Joey grabs the mic again and shows us his arm. Later after Joey went to the doctor he found out he is gonna need surgery and be out for a good amount of time. Joey said “at least I got my dick.”
Sami cut a promo like he was Roddy Piper in Alcatraz. I don’t know what happened to Sami’s Death Machine partners. Pretty sure the last time we saw them was at War Games. Sami says he will send Tom Lawlor back to the UFC because Sami is professional wrestling.
Battle Riot II is coming April 5th.
MLW is hyping their two Miami shows Never Say Never and Zero Hour. They have great graphics and presentation but many of the promo photos covers the date of the event. Marko Stunt is advertised for a match that weekend. I wonder who is gonna fill his spot.
Tom Lawlor is cutting another promo on Sami and Simon interrupts it by saying they have to go to the ring. The camera then zooms in on the the storage closet Gotch was in. I wonder why he was chilling in a storage closet?
Shane Strickland talks about his title match against Low Ki next week.
Chicago Street Fight
Sami Callihan vs. Tom Lawlor
- Sami Callihan has an ominous theme song that sounds like Nine Inch Nails got chopped and screwed.
- Sami already littering the ring with weapons before Lawlor shows up.
- Tom calls Callihan to fight him in the entrance area and the fight starts before the music even stops.
- Sami sandwiches Tom between two safety rails and screams “WRESTLING!” haha
- Sami wants to start a “one more time” chant in Spanish and yells “Uno! Uno!” then realizes he is forgetting a word and starts saying “Uno Mas!” which the crowd then got behind and started chanting.
- I just threw up…. Legit gagged until I threw up. Sami spit on Lawlor and Lawlor wiped the spit onto his own hand and licked it……… I don’t care what else happens in this match, that was the sickest thing they could have possibly done.
- Callihan hits a piledriver on the apron after sticking both of his thumbs in Lawlor’s eyes. Reminiscent of Kratos and Zeus.
- Tony says something about Tom Lawlor’s press conference and how Gotch set Tom up..? I mean I know I’ve been watching this whole episode but.. that never happened?
- A fan has a sign that says “Tom Use My Sign” which he totally does and the crowd loves it. Lawlor even picks up the sign to show the rest of the crowd. Very cool moment.
- It’s weird how often Sami tries to get the crowd to clap for him. He is the heel but shows that he wants crowd support. Sami spit in his hand again.. Really hope dude ate some mints or brushed his teeth before this.
- These dudes haven’t even got in the ring yet. True street fight.
- Whatever fan brought he air horn needs to not do that again.
- Sami pulled out a railroad spike and a vhs tape. Sami put the spike inside Tom’s mouth and tried to pull a tooth out. Then Sami licked the spike. Very horny match sometimes.
- Callihan used the “Tom Use My Sign” sign to paper cut the sides of Lawlor’s mouth.
- Sami busted the VHS tape open and pulled the film out to use as a choking device. Both men are in the ring though.
- Tom was passing out and they did the “check his arm” sleeper hold thing that doesn’t happen enough in wrestling. LOVE IT.
- The crowd has like three 12 year old boys in front row and they look shocked, amazed and frightened. This is something they will probably talk about for the rest of their lives.
- A nearfall happens but I didn’t think the match would end because there is still a table set up in the corner.
- Callihan got his ballbat. Do the Smurf, do the Wop, Baseball Bat. Rooftop like we bringing ’88 back.
- Yay/boo spot happens and it ends with Lawlor hitting a powerbomb.
- Lawlor grabbed the bat. I was looking at it like “that shit is a rubber bat”. Then Tom broke it over his leg and I thought “I’m dumb as hell”.
- Tom shoves the end of the broken bat into Sami’s throat while applying a choke and Sami taps out.
And I’m Like… No promotion does street fights better than MLW. This was so entertaining and fun. Creative weapon choices, a good story and gross ass horny ass spit stuff. If you miss the idea of the territory days and hardcore wrestling. This is the match and promotion for you. I can’t tell you how much more I enjoy MLW without Matt Striker. This was absolutely fantastic.
Gotch walks Tom to the back and gets ready for the Press Conference. It isn’t the press conference. It’s Low Ki, L.A. Park, El Hijo De L.A. Park and Ricky Martinez. Gotch shut the door on Lawlor and laughed while Lawlor gets jumped. Maybe that’s what Tony was referring to in the street fight?
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