Hello folks, Jake here after a very long hiatus. No need to get into the details, just know it’s time to recap some wrestling!
Before we start, I would like to go over some things. I will be starting MLW recaps at episode 14 and old episodes can be found here to watch. At the end I’ll probably throw in a social media account if you’d like to follow, you know because the internet.
MLW Fusion: Episode 14 – Shane Strickland vs. Low Ki and Tom Lawlor vs. Jimmy Havoc
The show starts with a video package of what has happened to MLW World Heavyweight Champion Shane ‘Swerve’ Strickland in the weeks leading up to tonight. He has been feuding with Salina De La Renta and her Promociones Dorado faction. Salina has been hellbent on getting the championship off of Strickland, going as far as to put a bounty on Shane.
The video shows the bounty hunters trying and failing to capture the gold from Swerve. We see that Shane is defending the championship but at great cost. He has been jumped in parking lots and hospitalized from his attackers like Brody King.
Salina raised the bounty to $60,000 and the man who came to collect is Low Ki. The end of the package has Low Ki saying “I have 60,000 reasons to burn down Swerve’s house”.
Kiki Roberts vs. Kahuna Khan
Two wrestlers who are new to the promotion are having a “prospect match”. The purpose of this match is for the wrestlers to prove their worth and get a contract with MLW.
Before the match can get underway The Kudokushi Death Squad shows up to wreck some shit. KDS consists of Su Yung and Zeda Zhang. Su Yung has made quite a splash on the wrestling scene and is making serious moves on Impact. Zeda was recently released from WWE’s NXT brand.
On MLW the Kudokushi Death Squad hasn’t told us much about them. All we know is their music hits, the lights flicker a blood red and chaos ensues. This week KDS beat our prospects so bad they needed to receive medical attention.
Backstage we see Mike Parrow and The Dirty Blondes from Colonel Parkers Stud Stable hassle Fred Yehi. Team Filthy shows up and helps Fred even the numbers before any physicality takes place. Tom Lawlor and Simon Gotch make an offer to Fred to let him join Team Filthy, which Yehi accepts.
Grudge Match: Jimmy Havoc vs. Tom Lawlor
A video package to start this match off showing us how Jimmy was beaten by Team Filthy and left in a ditch with broken ribs and a lacerated spleen. This will be Jimmy’s return to MLW since that beating took place.
Before the match starts, the MLW faithful cranks out the “Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy F****N Havoc” chant. The combatants to not hesitate to start this match off quickly. Before we can blink they are already on the outside of the ring. Tony Schiavone and Rich Bocchini put over the fact that Jimmy is almost impervious to pain. Jimmy physically shows us that he can be just as filthy as Filthy Tom Lawlor.
As they fight throughout Gilt Nightclub, Jimmy finds a cheese grater to use on Tom. Tony explains how each side of the cheese grater is used for which cheese. Lawlor uses the Parmesan cheese side on Havoc’s head to get some blood in this match. Tom continues his onslaught by putting Jimmy’s arm in a chair and then trying to get Havoc to type out by a chair assisted wrist submission.
Havoc scrapes the eyes of Lawlor to escape the hold. Commentary points out how Jimmy regularly chews his fingernails to make them jagged so the eye rakes are more effective. This match is getting bonkers with Lawlor using a staple gun on Havoc, Jimmy pulling said staples right out of his head and for some reason a bag of lemons is put in the ring.
Havoc is able to regain control in a moment that has Tony letting us in on the secret that if you grate almonds over freshly grated Parmesan, it really brings out the flavor.
We get to a point in the match where neither Rich nor Tony have seen this level of brutality and they openly state that they can only laugh at how uncomfortable they are.
The commentators had no idea what Jimmy Havoc had in store for them. Lawlor was able to apply a rear naked choke hold, but Jimmy got out of it by giving Tom some paper cuts in between his fingers. Not thinking that paper cuts were sadistic enough, Jimmy grabbed some lemons, bit one in half and squirted the lemon juice all over Lawlor’s wounds.
They also bring a pizza cutter into the match, which ended up being so brutal Jimmy tweeted about the effects of using a pizza cutter on your arm.
They follow that up with this last gif friendly move that I believe is the sickest chair bump I’ve seen in a long while.
With Jimmy’s arm squirting blood and both men battered and beaten, Havoc got one last rush of adrenaline from what I would suppose the extreme pain he is in. He lands a punch and a discus clothesline and that knocks Tom Lawlor out long enough for Havoc to get the three count and victory.
Immediately after the match doctors come and put a damn tourniquet on Havoc’s arm.
Sami Callihan had cut a promo on Twitter about Shane Strickland who Sami dubbed “my protege”. Callihan said he attacked Shane for the money. Maybe setting up the next feud for Swerve?
MLW World Heavyweight Championship
(c) Shane Strickland vs. Low Ki
The match seemed pretty run of the mill after the introductions of the competitors. Swerve had control for a bit, then Low Ki took over. There wasn’t an actual moment where the momentum shifted, Strickland did some moves and then Low Ki dominated the majority of the middle of the match.
The crowd was most invested for Strickland’s entrance. Mainly because Swerve comes out with such confidence and everyone loves to sing the hook of Ain’t Nobody. Other than that though the crowd was deader than a door nail. There was one lady though who kept yelling “Yeeeaaaahhh”.
A nearfall or two got Gilt a little bit hype, especially when Swerve missed the Swerve Stomp and seemed to aggravated his leg. That led right to a long drawn out process of Low Ki hitting a kick to Stricklands head and a surprise win for the new champion.
Very lackluster and underwhelming. The only thing I found enjoyable is that the MLW championship belt is as tall and wide as its champion.