Monday Night jaBROnis (RAW Review 8/9/21)

Topher McCann (co-host of ‘the jaBROnis’) is back and ready to guide you through another Monday Night RAW which was live from the Amway Center in Orlando!

Randy Returns!

The Viper kicked off the show and the crowd was all about it.

Riddle made his way out to let Randy know how much he missed him and to see if they could team up and be RK-Bro again. Randy informed Riddle they WERE a good team but what made him think he would still want to team with him […maybe because you’re wearing some RKBro merchandise Randy…maybe that’s why he thinks you’re still a team]. AJ and Omos interrupted them to gloat about Riddle losing to Omos and now losing Randy. After Randy cut them off, AJ challenged Orton to a match. After an unsuccessful RKO attempt to AJ and Omos, Orton rolled out of the ring. Riddle attempted an RKO but Omos defended it and hit him with a chokeslam.

Drew McIntyre vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin is on RAW and I’m pumped. The man is desperate for cash, sleeping in production trucks and just needs a little help. He was brought over from SmackDown by Jinder to wrestle Drew for a nice payday. Corbin informed us that he was willing to risk decapitation for the potential reward. After being a dick to the former king, McIntyre inevitably hit the Claymore for the win. Regardless, BARON CORBIN F – – – ING RULES!

“I tried to Venmo Corbin money this weekend but his phone was out of minutes.”

– Corey Graves on commentary (08/09/2020)

NXT Champion Karrion Kross vs. No More Words Jeff Hardy

Since stupid COVID got in our way, Jeff is now back to lose to Kross for some good old fashioned 50/50 booking!

Kross applied the Krossjacket on No More Words Jeff Hardy for the win. When it comes to the talents involved in NXT, I have no clue what’s going on anymore.

Alexa Bliss (w/ Lilly) vs. Doudrop (w/ Eva Marie)

Lilly sat on the turnbuckle during the match. Lilly inevitably winked at Doudrop. This frightened her and led to a surprise rollup for Alexa.

U.S. Champion Sheamus vs. Ricochet

During this match, Ricochet attempted a middle rope headbutt (?????) but crashed into Sheamus’ steel mask instead. This led to a Brogue Kick and a win for Sheamus. They made Ricochet look like a complete jabroni!

WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!

Damian Priest vs. John Morrison (w/ The Miz)

Another quick match here which had Priest get the win after hitting the Reckoning. We then had Sheamus come out and accept Priest’s challenge for the US Championship at Summerslam.

The Miz can walk now too, so there’s that.


Mustafa Ali (w/ Mansoor) vs. T-Bar (w/ Mace)

Mansoor gifted Ali with a jacket backstage before the match. Ali appreciated the gesture but said he wants Mansoor watch and learn tonight from him. What Mansoor learned was that Ali could lose to T-Bar in about 3 minutes!

Reggie!

Reggie, Corbin and Hot Bobby all on the same show! Take time to appreciate the small things in life.

Lashley/MVP segment in a nutshell: Goldberg isn’t next . . . Goldberg is done!

RAW Women’s Champion Nikki ASH vs. Rhea Ripley

If this gimmick is for the kids, then why the f**k do you wait until 10:20 PM EST to have her show up on the screen. Kids get tired and do this thing they call GOING TO BED! Anyway, your champion cut a promo saying it’s quite possible she could win tonight but at the same time, she could lose. We got a DQ finish when Charlotte showed up and pushed Nikki. Charlotte then hit Rhea with Natural Selection and held the title in the air.

WWE no longer stands for Walk With Elias because . . . Elias is dead!

Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles (w/ Omos)

We got a nice match between these two which ended when Randy countered the Phenomenal Forearm into an RKO for the win. After the match we had Riddle come into the ring with Randy. Randy told him earlier that he wanted him to stay in the back. Riddle wanted a hug and after some persuading, Riddle got his hug to a loud reaction.

But then…

RKO to Riddle!

Byron Saxton instantly proclaimed, “I think they’re back together! I think they’re back together!”

If Saxton says it, it MUST BE TRUE!

RK-Bro is back!

. . . jaBROnis out!

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