Monday Night jaBROnis (RAW Review 7/12/21)

After a huge heel turn by my SLING TV last week, Topher McCann (co-host of ‘the jaBROnis’) back here for the final RAW from the Thunderdome!

Nothing gets me more hyped then a taped go home show to a PPV in front of digital people!

[Pulls out smelling salts]

LET’S F**KING GO!

Xavier Woods vs. Bobby Lashley

These two had a Hell in a Cell match two weeks ago and then they were involved in a tag match last week. So let’s go for the turkey and let them have a good old classic singles match this week! A singles match that ended with Xavier Woods pinning Hot Bobby with a devastating small package! Hot Bobby stormed off but we were reassured that he would return later on tonight with MVP in the VIP Lounge.

Swords and Cycles

The feuding over a sword continued this week. We had Jinder arriving earlier in the show on a motorcycle. He came out to reveal that the sword he took from Drew is now broken. Drew popped up on the screen to inform Jinder that the broken sword is a replica and then he exposed his real sword. He exposed it so well! He then was next to Jinder’s very real motorcycle.

Drew went on to destroy the motorcycle while Jinder could only stand there and watch the destruction unfold.

Alexa Bliss vs. Nikki Ash vs. Asuka vs. Naomi

We had Doudrop and Eva make an appearance during the match, Alexa disappeared and Asuka took the pinfall giving Nikki Ash the victory. This all seemed pretty pointless for the most part. Especially since the build for the women’s MITB has been awkward with certain people just qualifying for no reason and then some having to compete in tag matches (???) to qualify. It’s so simple to have a singles matches to qualify for MITB just like how the men did. It really isn’t that difficult . . . but I digress.

AJ Styles vs. Ivar

From feuding over swords, to feuding because one team called another team smelly.

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We got a very quick match between the two which led to Ivar hitting a sitting senton and getting the surprising pinfall victory over Styles.

Omos vs. Erik

We then had Omos make his singles debut where we had another quick match that had Omos get the win after a two handed chokeslam. Each team had a singles victory so I guess we’ll see who is the stinkiest this Sunday at MITB!

Sheamus vs. Humberto Carrillo (US Championship Match)

Sheamus beat the shit out of Humberto backstage before the match. Pearce and Deville arrived on the scene and informed Humberto that they could postpone the match. He said f**k that and made his way out to the ring. Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick and got the victory in just under 20 seconds. Sheamus was about to continue with a beatdown but Damien Priest made his way out for the save. Looks like we got ourselves a nice little feud here for the United States Championship with Priest and Sheamus.

Johnny ‘Drip Drip’ Morrison vs. Ricochet (Falls Count Anywhere)

The boys are back yet again and put on another fun match this week. It was sprinkled with some nonsense from Riddle and The Miz. The finish saw Ricochet hit a splash onto J-Mo through a ladder on the outside of the ring for the pinfall victory.

Rhea Ripley vs. Natalya

Prior to this, Drew McIntyre was going all history high school teacher on us and going on about Icarus and possibly about Red Bull giving you wings. Screw all that though because I’m ready for some Rhea and Natty!

They had a nice back and forth match which led to Rhea hitting the Riptide and getting the win. We of course had Charlotte come out after the match, hit Rhea with a chop block and then apply the Figure Four over the apron. Momentum is with Charlotte but this feud is dull. They should of had a sword fight with crutches or something like that to gain people’s interest.

If only…

VIP Lounge

MVP and the ladies waited for Hot Bobby to make his way out to the lounge. Hot Bobby came out ironically not looking so hot. He was pissed and he sent the ladies on their way and then he swore on television!

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Hot Bobby said it’s time to get serious again and began to destroy the VIP Lounge. He starting throwing couches, love seats and tables everywhere.

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He cut one of his best promos and said that he is going to end Kofi this weekend. We went off the air with Lashley leaving the ring and MVP standing there shook from what he just witnessed.

Fans return next week! Enjoy Money In The Bank this weekend . . .

jaBROnis OUT!

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