MLW Fusion Recap Episode 70: Lifestyles of the Rich and Dynastic

Last Week on MLW Fusion: Low Ki knocked out Jimmy Yuta in the same match we’ve seen Low Ki have for a month now. The Von Erich’s wrestled The Spirit Squad until Contra Unit came out and attacked both teams. Zenshi and Gringo Loco had a match at the last taping that MLW had to air this week because of the chaos Contra Unit caused. Timothy Thatcher and Davey Boy Smith Jr. saved the entire show with an actual wrestling match. They were technical as hell and ended with a standing ovation from the crowd after Thatcher tapped out.

It’s weird that Contra Unit has propaganda videos that they demand MLW play. MLW bends at the whim of Contra Unit but then force Tony Schiavone to quit working with AEW and fire Sami Callihan for “upsetting the venue” but Contra Unit can cause a “near riot” and still see their demands met.

Bestia 666 vs. Rey Horus

• The Crash promotion in Mexico has teamed up with MLW, what Rich says is that Horus and Bestia have feuded in The Crash already.
• The match is full of pin attempts, legit like ten in two minutes. Rich and Tony are talking about how powerful Salina De La Renta is.
• Tony talks about how suicide dives amaze him because the word suicide implicates that it is gonna hurt the person diving more than the person being dove on. I never thought of that before.
• Bestia is trying to get a “666” chant going, but it doesn’t pick up.
• Again this is a lucha match, so it’s really just a back and forth battle with no story really. Commentary try and add a story saying Horus wins 90% of his matches with an aerial attack. So they are wondering if it will happen again tonight.
• This is a really slow lucha match, which isn’t bad, but it’s a little odd. The crowd reacts to the moves but there is a lot of silence in between the moves, so that might be why it feels slower.
• Salina is at ringside but hasn’t had any focus put on her really, outside of commentary talking about her. She hasn’t gotten involved, which is odd to me. This is just a legit match.
• This match has never gotten out of the first gear that they started in. Bestia 666 won with a muscle buster where he lands on his knees instead of his butt.

And I’m Like… It feels like they are just going through the motions. MLW’s earlier episodes had a sense of urgency and seemed like the wrestlers were wrestling harder than they are now. That match was a match.

Salina cuts a promo after the match and calls Konnan a bitch. Konnan apparently still has Salina’s phone. Even though she is supposedly rich, she doesn’t end service on her phone and get a new phone. Konnan doesn’t have her cloud account password. This storyline makes no sense and is revolving around revenge porn. Konnan even calls it an iPhone, even though he is holding an Android. HE also calls her a prostitute. This is so dumb hahaha. Konnan is openly bragging about going into Salina’s phone, which is a crime.

Savio Vega shows up because Konnan told Savio that Salina is taking advantage of him. He rips up a signed contract with Salina, which again does nothing. Contracts are signed, their are two copies, because Savio ripped his up, doesn’t mean he isn’t still contractually obliged to Salina. Like how MLW signs people to “exclusive” contracts and stops them from performing for other promotions that they choose.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Dynastic starts again. They have “Diamonds are Forever” by Kanye as the song that leads into the video. It’s pretty sweet, but makes me wonder why that isn’t their theme song when they come out. MJF bought fancy watches for Richard Holliday and Hammerstone.

The Hart Foundation have their own team video thing. They show cats licking each others asses and try moonsaults on a bed.

Contra Unit sends in their “propaganda” video, that for some reason is different than the last two videos we watched. They supposedly have gone to places like Bangledash, Singapore, India and Korea to find the newest member of Contra. Ikuro Kwon is his name, and he spits mist!

Ross Von Erich and Tom Lawlor have a promo. Ross says “Marshall has some eye problems, he is in Hawaii now, gonna have a baby and he won’t be able to see it.” Tom cuts him off and screams “Contra we are going to war!”

Mancer gets some interview time, he busts out the whiteboard for a gameplan. Mancer makes Kaci Lennox draw some trees. Then has her hold the whiteboard. Mancer busts out a chainsaw and says he cut Salina’s boys down, now he is gonna pull the roots out.

Contra Unit vs. Jay Sky and Ariel Dominguez

• Shout out to Jay Sky. I had no idea his name, and he wasn’t really introduced, but his name is on his gear. If you aren’t that well known, rock your name on your trunks.
• Contra Unit win withing seconds with a submission then fish hook Ariel with a railroad spike.

And I’m Like… So yeah. Contra wins a match and beats up the guy after.

MLW National Openweight Championship

Alexander Hammerstone(c) vs. Savio Vega

• Savio’s face does not age, it’s wild. I am unsure if his in ring talent has diminished but other than looking a bit bigger than normal, he looks the same.
• The match starts with a small feeling out process before Savio gets in control with a few chops. Hammerstone is definitely wrestling Savio’s match.
• MLW does this thing where if a move looks bad, they just pan to the crowd for a few seconds. So Vega and Hammerstone must have messed something up because the camera just shot some dude in a black shirt standing there not really reacting, then went back to the ring. It was really odd.
• The match is very slow and MJF ends up exposing the steel turnbuckle. Hammerstone rams Vega’s head into it, then hits the Nightmare Pendulum. The move isn’t done properly and it looks like Vega’s legs were broken.
• Brian Pillman Jr. shows up and steals Hammerstone’s jacket.

And I’m Like… Man, MLW. I’m not sure about them anymore. They are a promotion that takes themselves too seriously, tries to be old school but in doing so insults the fans intelligence. Like you have to get in the mindset of supreme disbelief just to take their storylines seriously. The matches are rarely something to talk about over the next week. The crowd doesn’t seem to react to much either. I just don’t know what to say.

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