-Lillehammer, Norway

An anonymous source informed False Finish Headlines that Zack Ryder has been privately telling people that he discovered that partner Mojo Rawley has been on relaxers for years and that what we’ve all seen only scratches the surface.

 

“Even I don’t know how hype he can actually be.” Ryder confessed.

 

Sources go on to say that the WWE has been aware of the issue for some time and plans to do nothing. Ryder noted to friends that the company was mostly just happy that Mojo hadn’t gone on a racist rant in a church or accidentally killed a Japanese hooker or something. Ryder also noted that those examples came really really easily to the executive he’d spoken to. Suspiciously easy.

 

*Disclaimer: False Finish Headlines is satire. Don’t believe everything you read and leave Levar Burton alone.